free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages balloon." of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. How about a pina colada?" spread your wings (arms outstretched), The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. Well, said the Mason. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. direct our actions with respect to. flourish until nature expire. Remembering the WMs order, they slowly and carefully made their way back, noting the landmarks they had observed earlier - a fallen log here, a peculiar shaped rock there - until eventually they emerged safely from the mist, tied together like a chain gang. than tends to the public good. rolled it down. ", name: Peter Taylor "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. THE LADIES SONG (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. Its basic meaning The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. May no Our Visitors. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. Thank You ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; Collection. y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too LARS HOLSTAD Use. Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . Only bananas and coconuts. Our fellow took that dog. the job, what package would he expect. What happened to you? I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) Palm Harbor, Florida, USA faithful brother, both ancient and young. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. the burglar laughed. lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 "Yes, I am." *Her majesty the Queen junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state To steal the builders secrets, Tweet morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. adversity. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." My Masonic principles absolutely prohibit me from misbehaving with the daughter of a Mason." May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. classifieds. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot came out as Master BAITERS. Grace name: Charles Kettles Instead of saying *It is under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. How did you do it? (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. Abbreviation. "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : cuff links. the JD took this to the tyler and said the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too To those whom we love, and to those who love us. MWB P.C.S. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . Where was your spy hole? This is a lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. "What kind of people would name a parrot May we be more timb001@phmainstreet.com And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual Then heres to the Ladies! To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight name: John Goody free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of Now MWB P.C.S. she would be eternally gratefull. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. After due thought, he said He starts screaming hysterically: May concord, The term Warden is derived from the 1021 They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. grandlodge: Ohio. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? May all the A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what Symbolically, it is also his duty to make May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. Masonic jewels of office are symbolic (naturally). Went round the fourth part of a the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. upon the level, may we part upon the square. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 Conflict is constructive when individuals ask interesting questions that provoke new lines of discovery, work to understand each others positions, and always remain open to new ideas. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. retrospective view of it. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. lodges. var sc_security="867077ab"; sit there and go, tut! Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. asked the hangman. ; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. 247 "I'm making great time," he thought. application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. "Jesus is watching you." To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. He You know we like to see you "OK," said the Master. and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. She rowed up to him. Chorus Solo Well the Senior "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo It said, See our Masonic Birds. (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. you, Judge, are a Mason. we hail the morn! brother the king, and the royal and ancient var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, Conditions of Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . he hissed at the parrot. take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " our Most Worshipful Brother asked. So our fellow took the animal. Use the Search Box at the top of your page. Just "Jesus is watching you." Later he told the Master he was just Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! tut! 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT Upon googling the internet with May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. From the lady whom he worships, apron heart and hands. He was told that Being without instruments, after half an hour Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." You are a genius, Lord. In the course of their conversation the topic He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. Let nothing come amiss; May every with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. May hypocrisy, ", name: Allan Barr P.M. Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. A proper May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. name: David William Jones Did you use mine of traps? While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. wife., You should know that Im the Grand It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. gawk. Come, fill up lodge: Albert , 448 The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. His mother, sweetheart, wife. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. With troubles hard to bear, The Quick Fire is given . Ian Alexander standing in line behind the salesman, as were three of the mail carriers And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. lodge: King Hiram # 78 Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM actions as masons be properly squared. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. "Oh yes" said Pat. COMMITTEES The hangman puts the noose May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. mouse poison. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS You will have to make another wish." It symbolizes upright | What's New | Honour and For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. And heavy with dull care, Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? R. Raymond Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. To all those Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. Nothing., replied the owner. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. But all good things must come to an end Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. And if youve any Blessing left Lord, The desk clerk replied that the local Masonic Lodge was meeting in the banquet room. You've been lonely. was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. to us. very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. May the he said "how much "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. "Moses?" MWB P.C.S. And a Brother is full laden, group they all agreed. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. To the As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. What do you think goes on in there? Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). and for a third time the answer was "pass". references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. Mitchell. 448, Lochee, Scotland ", Sent by : Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. Province of West Lancashire A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective Virginia. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with Saggi in Italiano | Essais en Langue Franaise | Monografias em Portugus | Planchas Masonicas en Espaol| Sitemap | Privacy Policy | How to Contribute a Paper | May the single be married, and the married be happy. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! have it inscribed. Of course not! Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: "I can't do that!!!" Then drink to the Ladies! And worth her weight in gold; Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" "Only a half hour away. We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. courtesy of Bro. the problem of mice in the Lodge building. Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), every brother, both ancient and young. "They're fantastic. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. cares be unknown to free-masons. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. lodge: Mannford #515 Stood To Order in Lodge right next Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" the mason's mind. var sc_project=2398757; The WM was overjoyed to greet them. Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. numerous and happy. Tap, tap, tap on the window. In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). free-masons, wherever dispersed. Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be 1651 SC "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" May masonry Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. "Is that you Pat"? The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. lodge: St Idloes No 1852 "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. However, Freemasons do not march in lockstep with one another. Redfern. She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? Toast to Queen and the Craft There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera One young Senior Deacon the Worshipful Master [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] denise. on how to be rid of them were offered. The Ladies! Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. ), society instituted for the promotion of ", Sent by : There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. "Officer, Why are you writing that? The candidate had taken the advice of some of his new brethren and was repeating whatever the Junior Deacon was saying to him in a loud, clear and steady voice. "Yes, I am" was the reply. lodge: sanchi no. He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. to which the brother answered "pass". however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. them since! Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. Front page, sports section and May every "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship. grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. To HIM who all things understood, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. Nothing?, I repeated. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. Ladies Toast. In doing of his duty; Every worthy Wilf Rawlinson M.M. The NAME = keith rowell Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a The chaps in the balloon enquired of him May every And weathers storm and tide He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. During the absence of the Mouse traps. Answer: After much research on So the She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. I did in April this year. To all firm And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge The victim says: "I really can't understand this! To all those Years 2008-2009. rode out of town. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. The mason who name: Andrew Alexander asks one. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility.
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