Whos there? Later they get together. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better. A submarine. That really hurt!" the first friend exclaims. How do you make holy water? What do a guy and a car have in common? Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear brightuntil they open their mouths. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Robin you, now hand over the cash. Where does the general keep his armies? Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. Did you fall from heaven? No, but I wanted to save you the trouble of thinking for yourself. He gave her a diamond card. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { If this made you giggle, youll love these food jokes. Ivana fuck your brains out. Right where you left it. 1. Do you love telling jokes? What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? Some are dead. 2. Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Person 2: Who's there? See you next month. You're not completely useless. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. A dick in your mouth! Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. * No, you didn't. What's your point? I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. I don't think you should be happy. A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?". What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. Well-armed. Elementree school. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. By Sergios Rotar Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? Wheeeee! Where do young trees go to learn? Then it hit me. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. How did the hipster burn his mouth? If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. A guy will search for a golf ball. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. We dont serve your type.. Phillipe Phillope. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? We have more jokes for you, click on big red button below. I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Theres no menu: You get what you deserve. I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Me: *to the person I was talking to* When When When When When. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. It will make them look silly for not asking you or having any respect for what you had to say. Its the people I tell them to who cant. Dress her up as an altar boy. A bear walks into a restaurant. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Explanation: Even on an island of one, religion can be a tricky issue. The redhead says it looks like cum. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? 4. If you dont believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. It needed help figuring out its problems. Why arent koalas actual bears? A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. I took a poop in the elevator. It was two tired. A limbo champ walks into a bar. Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Why didn't the melons get married? just ask them why they are so insecure about things. Cereal pleasure to meet you! Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Good luck. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Explanation: Bach was, of course, another famous composer, so Beethovens chickens were pecking away at his ego. Remains to be seen. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? I said you look fat in those pants. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? You wait here, I'll go on ahead. They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . Every 'Who asked' copypasta. The other cow says, "Why would I care? Share the best GIFs now >>> Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? 43. Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. The fact that there are only two errors. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? The bear shrugged. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. There were two goldfish in a tank. Two guys walk into a bar. If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Your job still sucks. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? 10. Love means nothing to them. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. Ivana who? Now the focus has shifted back to them, showing anyone in earshot how rude the first question was, making them embarrassed and making you laugh. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. You would not use any of these if you werent: Well, these joke are silly, but still funny: Jokes about sex are eternal. Descartes replies, I think not and promptly disappears. Because they taste funny. Micro-waves. 2. You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument. "I'm a. 9. Cancel its credit card. 12 / 102. This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . What did one hat say to the other? Ten-tickles. What did the alien say to the flower bed? 28. What do you call a pig that does karate? 1. Knock Knock Whos there? Whos there? When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Tell me what you need, and Ill tell you how to get along without it since youre not that bright. To get to the other side. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Why do vegetarians give good head? What did the banana say to the vibrator? Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. Person 1: Knock-knock. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I don't know, and I don't care. Cookie Notice We recommend our users to update the browser. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because they're always stuffed. Waiter! You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. You put a little boogie in it. (Think trolls) The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. Sucka who? We recommend our users to update the browser. We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Think Im sarcastic? Christian Bale. In his sleevies. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. You spread its little legs. * You don't want my opinion? 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". Because he was always spotted. Knock Knock! The Satisfactory. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. 39. He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Did I Ask animated GIFs to your conversations. I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. person one: its around the ma- person two: where on my face does It look like I care? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? The batroom. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. Never mind, it's over your head. Close the door, I'm dressing. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Its a win-win! Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. Because he neverlands. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? He just can't part with it. By the bark. What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? How does an octopus go into battle? We have picked some adult jokes for you to use. "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. The photon says, No, Im traveling light.. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. Alright, are you ready? Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Looking for some laughs today? A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Elementree school. I decided to start smoking only after sex. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Because they're really good at it. But John came fifth and won a toaster. Robin. Why do vegans give better head? A $100 bill. Walking takes too long. Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. Hes been going through some shit. She couldn't control her pupils. Because every play has a cast. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. when did i ask jokes 26.2M viewsDiscover short videos related to when did i ask jokes on TikTok. Because he's got little legs. Someone complimented my parking today! Because they hit foul balls. Person . } I was kidnapped by mimes once. No, but I could tell you needed my help. Confused by some of these clever jokes? What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? 7. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. The only answer is to have some responses ready in your back pocket, responses that you can read below. Will glass coffins be a success? 24. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Whats a foot long and slippery? So whether youre dealing with a hater or just somebody whos generally uninterested, here are 14+ clean comebacks for who cares and nobody cares., Read next: 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation. You don't have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Why did the student eat his homework? I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. I think its time for us to go our separate ways and start making other people miserable. Why was six afraid of seven? She choked. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. . Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Laughter is infectious. Cookie Notice No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? He loses. 38. 7 Up in cider. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". Anal makes your hole weak. A meltdown. Not being a retard. When someone asks "did I ask you", you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Oh, I didnt tell you? Answer: A Diamond Question: What did the cowboy say went he went into the car showroom in Germany? 86 Funny Why Did The. On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. You wait here. What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The sheer awkwardness of the situation should set in eventually and the person will walk away. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. This worked so well! But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. Cause your face looks kind of funky. How is life like a penis? A crane! Whats long, hard and erects stuff? Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain their rude question. If you are looking for a complete list of Cortana commands, check out this page . ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Read next: 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. Not by a long shot. The extra E in three and the missing R in error. The third error? When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. But hay, its in my jeans. A stick. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatll be $6.50 a minute. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. Mississippi. A pouch potato. Got a PS5 for my little brother. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? And do you love, well, jokes? A slipper. A buccaneer. "Close the door, I'm dressing!". Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". This obviously isnt working out. There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. You just have to listen varicosely. A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. A cherry float. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Spoiled milk. Hi! Because he felt burned out. Or it is asked to someone who just said something that doesnt help whatever point the question asker was trying to make. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, Heres something I have that youll never have! Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. How did you quit smoking? 32. Because it's not good to drink and derive. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Be careful to whom you send these. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Totally shocked. They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. Joke has 83.83 % from 129 votes. What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. What's black and white and goes round and round? After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. Explanation: The first two errors? 3 Easy Ways to Find it, How to Manifest Good Luck in 5 Simple Steps. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? The Best Dad Jokes 2023. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. A slipper. "You look drunk.". This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. Privacy Policy. 1. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. I had to put my foot down. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. Why did the chicken cross the road? Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Neeeooooooow! Are you an adult? Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" Explanation: Photons are particles representing an amount of light. 4. But that's not all. My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job. Find out here! Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Ill go on a head. Why are teddy bears never hungry? 1. Let's begin. Check out these hilarious whats the difference between jokes. Approximately one GB. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. According to Mason, expose them to as much as possible and that includes jokes. What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? 14. How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? They just pick things up as they go along. No? 1.) He was in a jam. . Re-Morse code. A horse walks into a bar. Unless youre just fed up with these types of comments and want to be rude. 4. Because every play has a cast. Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. Broomates. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. Explanation: This ones full of nods to music: Chopin and Bach were composers, and a minuet is a type of dance (and the music that goes along with it). Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. He pasta-way. It shut all my friends up! A lip reader. Original don't care + didn't ask. Kid: who asked? They have many fans. The bear shrugged. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Because theyre used to eating nuts. Saying yes to the question and then walking away without providing any further information is a funny way to escape that conversation and get away from the rude question asker. 5. 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. Banana Jokes. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? "Make me one with everything.". What do you call two witches who live together? You can drop them off anywhere. Low flying airplane noises! So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. He ate the pizza before it was cool. Call and tell her about it. When did I ask? I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? There are twenty of them. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. A tomato in an elevator. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A meltdown. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . An impasta. Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". A golfer goes. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. How does a squid go into battle? A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. READ THIS NEXT: 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? What did one plate say to the other plate? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Knock Knock! Did your parents ask for you? When When When When When When When. Because their horns don't work! Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaserthat's why we call them that! Whos there? Knock Knock! From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. Where you put the cucumber. Apple Jokes. Get ready to laugh, hard. Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. Explanation: By themselves, the musical notes C, E-flat, and G are simply tones, neither major nor minor. 40. Control Freak. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? How do celebrities stay cool? Pun lovers have been pondering what one thing said to another since almost the beginning of time.